is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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