One girl and one boy is just not enough.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
