I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
