i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
