So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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