i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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