??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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