Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
