I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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