im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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