Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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