Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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