So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
