just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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