do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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