I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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