So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
