Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize