At least make sure they are 18
Why
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Mom said you looked used
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
