Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
