is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
