One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
