I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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