Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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