Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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