ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
