I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
