I'm really into asian looking animals
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
