I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
