So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
