Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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