you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
