Welp...herpes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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