cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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