saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize