one might say we're banned from that church
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
