Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
