He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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