you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
