he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
