Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize