3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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