dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
