he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
