Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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