Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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