i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
