I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
