Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
