I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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