He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
