Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
