Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She said her name was "party"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
