I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
