I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize