Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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