I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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