i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
