Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize