You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
