dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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