things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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