wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize