You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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