we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
