I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My dick has a subreddit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
