She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
