Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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