I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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