look no pants
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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