I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
