Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hippo gnu deer
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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