watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
