Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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