Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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