a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
