So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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