I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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