I'm really into asian looking animals
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
