So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Randomize
