This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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