i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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