I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If that was your dad, he is hot
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
