me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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